tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.comments2010-04-18T04:07:57.125-07:00The Writer's LodgeJimziphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-33022824105038671622010-04-18T04:07:57.125-07:002010-04-18T04:07:57.125-07:00You're right, I was being silly. I admit I tot...You're right, I was being silly. I admit I totally wrote this chapter (and every chapter). Dale just writes the chapter titles and James finds the pictures. We hope you're enjoying it all dear readers. ;)<br /><br />ps. I forget to mention I really liked how I managed to make use of all the users abilities in hiding knowledge of the city. :)Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-38640100816656008432010-04-18T03:28:02.961-07:002010-04-18T03:28:02.961-07:00Awesome chapter James. I haven't got round to ...Awesome chapter James. I haven't got round to reading the comments before this one, but I'm sure they directly and clearly praise you for it also. ;)<br /><br />Leila developing was great to read. And the mystery behind her being prepared for what's befallen her is also piquing my interest. Looking forward to that part being filled in!Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-36899293302863297392010-04-18T02:00:34.416-07:002010-04-18T02:00:34.416-07:00Hahah. Well whoever wrote it I'm sure is very ...Hahah. Well whoever wrote it I'm sure is very appreciative that you enjoyed it. ;)<br /><br />Dale?<br /><br />(And are we *really* going to comment like this every time from now on?! X)<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-4681799724027908482010-04-17T22:02:52.152-07:002010-04-17T22:02:52.152-07:00Nice work me/James/Dale! (I'm being cryptic so...Nice work me/James/Dale! (I'm being cryptic so Brenton and co won't be able to tell from our comments who wrote this chapter.) ;)<br /><br />I think my favourite parts that you/I/we wrote were the sections with Leila - you/we/I did a great job with the descriptions as usual, making it very easily to visualise. And some interesting revelations to boot! (I think I'm being slightly less generous in my praise because I feel arrogant when I add the I to the I/we/you statements. lol) <br />PS. I'm liking the development of Leila's character and how she contrasts to Brandon. :)Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-14784547255764995232010-03-29T00:40:04.003-07:002010-03-29T00:40:04.003-07:00"... I had the idea of ending it with all of ..."... I had the idea of ending it with all of them on the castle's roof at sunrise. And do I still like that visual as an ending for a chapter spent in the dark ..."<br /><br />Yeah it was a nice visual. There's two devices in storywriting I really like, and I'm not even sure what they're called. But one is just that, start/end contrast, where you begin in black and flip to white for a nice 'aw', and also I'm a big fan of opening/closing repetition, as in things ending similar to the way it began, not sure why but it feels right in my head. X)<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-69435869087269939772010-03-28T20:19:03.678-07:002010-03-28T20:19:03.678-07:00oops. "that name* situation".oops. "that name* situation".Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-71681741828573752112010-03-28T20:17:30.657-07:002010-03-28T20:17:30.657-07:00Now that right there was a darn good read. :) I di...Now that right there was a darn good read. :) I didn't even notice that it was that long! <br /><br />Atlantis is an excellent way to propel the story. Awesome how you explained the library vs the guild. And I could go on and on. :)<br /><br />Also, that situation is rather amusing, too. Heh.<br /><br />*wild applause*Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-57153181737670395632010-03-28T15:43:24.518-07:002010-03-28T15:43:24.518-07:00Phew *big sigh of relief* Wait Dale hasn't rea...Phew *big sigh of relief* Wait Dale hasn't read it yet *sucks back in sigh of relief*<br /><br />Yeah, if it had been done as two chapters, I would have ended it on the line "Tell me, what do you know about Atlantis?"<br /><br />I need to learn to plan better! lol. Looking back it's the obvious place to end it, but at the start of writing I had the idea of ending it with all of them on the castle's roof at sunrise. And do I still like that visual as an ending for a chapter spent in the dark, so I've only got myself to blame. :)Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-23821220162956626152010-03-28T06:53:21.857-07:002010-03-28T06:53:21.857-07:00Hahahah. Wow, you're onto me... X)
- no, I ha...Hahahah. Wow, you're onto me... X)<br /><br />- no, I had no idea though. That's really quite funny!<br /><br />Anyway, soooooooo cool!! LOVED IT! You just tied together so much, and still opened up (literally) a new world of possibility. ;)<br /><br />It's always nice to have a couple of rules popping up too, haha. I was wondering if I would have to explain how to get back from a deplacement, now I don't have to! ;) I like it in any case, it's the yang-to-the-ying solution, which is nice.<br /><br />And Ninian is back, yay!! I have been worried about writing him because you do his voice so well haha. But there's so much charisma there and I love that he and Lizabeth have history.<br /><br />... I also loved the Battle Dragon parts. X)<br /><br />And I see now exactly where you could have cut it off. (I assume it was just after Lizabeth picks the book up and says she'll 'start with the basics'), and I'm glad you didn't. The last half was kinda crucial and a lot of fun. If you'd left it in the middle it could have literally gone anywhere, and like I said in the email, you'd probably have had to re-write it all.<br /><br />Lastly, really cool addition, the marvels and shadows! That is going to be especially fun to add to. ;)<br /><br />Great stuff!<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-8601776412818359722010-03-28T05:00:10.570-07:002010-03-28T05:00:10.570-07:00I just noticed if you combine the first name of ou...I just noticed if you combine the first name of our (possible) hero and the first name of our (possible) villian you get Brandon Clement – suspciously close to Brenton Clements, hmmm? *dramatic music* :pLuke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-90715331597521108732010-03-22T05:36:37.415-07:002010-03-22T05:36:37.415-07:00I concur! Great chapter! There were lots of cool l...I concur! Great chapter! There were lots of cool little moments, like how Brandon's breathing went still when he used his concealer ability. I could picture it all very vividly - you have a knack for action scenes. As for Lizebeth breaking in, I think she secretly hoped for some naked Brandon action. ;) <br /><br />I'm not sure whether you're punishing me by ending it where you did or being uber nice by giving me so much potential stuff to play with! :)Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-87475890761156082102010-03-22T02:56:55.457-07:002010-03-22T02:56:55.457-07:00Great chapter!
Lots and lots in here I enjoyed. N...Great chapter!<br /><br />Lots and lots in here I enjoyed. Not the least of which is Lizabeth's warning and her ability to tell when someone is using their ability ... trés intéressant!<br /><br />Can't wait to see what you'll do now Luke haha!<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-54851528694248636922010-03-22T00:13:04.500-07:002010-03-22T00:13:04.500-07:00I know the font's not right at the moment - I ...I know the font's not right at the moment - I will fix it up shortly. Email to come to re: story elements. Enjoyed trying to write Lizebeth's character, hope I got her voice halfway right! :)Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-76024048783802030342010-03-15T11:11:25.688-07:002010-03-15T11:11:25.688-07:00Oh my no! What's done is done boyo! ;)
I fixe...Oh my no! What's done is done boyo! ;)<br /><br />I fixed up the little things that were bugging me too, Luke. :) I think that's much clearer now.<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-47699877334433899392010-03-14T20:58:35.827-07:002010-03-14T20:58:35.827-07:00Excellent tying-togethering and avenue opening! Qu...Excellent tying-togethering and avenue opening! Quite riveting, really. :) If you need me to tweak my chapter a little so that Bram's evilness plays in a bit more I can do so!Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-8573778384943718492010-03-13T17:10:27.510-08:002010-03-13T17:10:27.510-08:00Hmmm, very interesting. Opens up a whole lot of ne...Hmmm, very interesting. Opens up a whole lot of new stuff to play with. Yay! Good work.<br /><br />And Bram was a bad guy - good twist! Made me re-read Dale's chapter differently and makes perfect sense that he was actually doing wrong. Oh and I like Bram as a surname. Cool names all round.<br /><br />Anyway, I really enjoyed the chapter and it definitely sparked some ideas.<br /><br />The only thing that I'm a little unsure on was whether this was set earlier, before Brandon joined the library or after.Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-20746264583422499332010-03-13T04:46:58.818-08:002010-03-13T04:46:58.818-08:00Oh, and I reeeeally hope this wasn't too full-...Oh, and I reeeeally hope this wasn't too full-on. While aiming to clarify some things, I also kinda added more. X)<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-14852207499051036342010-03-13T04:36:26.058-08:002010-03-13T04:36:26.058-08:00It's long, I apologise for that! Hopefully thi...It's long, I apologise for that! Hopefully this ties together some elements, and also give us some more to play with though. ;)<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-40202397258314746092010-03-08T05:49:24.725-08:002010-03-08T05:49:24.725-08:00You callin' me an ego-tist? ;P
Jimzip :DYou callin' me an ego-tist? ;P<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-12893960384127839962010-03-08T02:56:12.140-08:002010-03-08T02:56:12.140-08:00Glad you're both happy with the direction and ...Glad you're both happy with the direction and Ninian. He was fun to write so I look forward to writing more of him if he's not killed off in your chapters! lol <br /><br />Look forward to finding out what's next! (That sounds kind of egotistical to say about a story I'm co-writing! But I am looking forward to seeing what comes next damnit!) :)Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-49372811166217345112010-03-07T11:22:46.524-08:002010-03-07T11:22:46.524-08:00Oh I love the direction you just took this! X) Ver...Oh I love the direction you just took this! X) Very fun to read and lots to work with here.<br /><br />I also agree with Dalian, er, Dale, Ninian was really vivid in my head.<br /><br />I ain't never 'eard of a locator spell like that Luke, though 'Accio' does a similar thing - brings the thing you're thinking of to you. Not quite the same in any case so don't worry, you haven't infringed any copyrights (that I know of... X).<br /><br />Oh and I should also should clarify the mysterious corridor. It was actually the one Lizabeth led Brandon down to get into this 'tower-room' ;) I zipped over that so quickly I'm not surprised it isn't clear, so later I might tweak that a bit. Of course feel free to add another, (note also that it was mentioned there were rooms branching off the tower-room :) So, yah. A whole Narnia of mysterious corridors could be waiting in one of those rooms I suppose. X)<br /><br />I look forward to reading the next- oh wait. ;)<br /><br />Jimzip :DJimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-227469564800882412010-03-06T22:18:25.940-08:002010-03-06T22:18:25.940-08:00PS. Very cool picture. ;)PS. Very cool picture. ;)Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-74402000132436118092010-03-06T22:17:19.748-08:002010-03-06T22:17:19.748-08:00Highly entertaining! Ninian was a really quirky ch...Highly entertaining! Ninian was a really quirky character, very easy to visualise and very fun to read. And there's Stella popping up at the end. Excellent. :D<br /><br />I think you got your flow on the further into the chapter you wrote. There were some great images and vivid descriptions scattered throughout.<br /><br />I'm going to looking up 'jamais vu' now. ... ... ... Heh, very interesting concept!<br /><br />I'm more than happy with the direction you took, too. Well played. :)Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02364602836880880812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-86177473229749540822010-03-06T20:18:56.193-08:002010-03-06T20:18:56.193-08:00Hope that didn't muck up anyone's story id...Hope that didn't muck up anyone's story ideas! (Oh and don't read this message if you haven't read the chapter yet as there be spoilers.) It was fun to write – there was so much stuff James set up in his chapter that I wanted to play with. I didn't even get time to explore the mysterious corridor! I'm a little worried I might've stolen the locator spell setting something on fire from somewhere because it felt strangely familar (Harry Potter? Buffy?). If I did, let me know and I can try writing something else there. (Kind of ironic I sort of have Jamais Vu.)Luke Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02423937508361279968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5379767998938154680.post-31417816464938768422010-03-04T06:37:21.511-08:002010-03-04T06:37:21.511-08:00Nice edit. ;)Nice edit. ;)Jimziphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00898047278409201807noreply@blogger.com